IT ISN’T FAIR

My entire life I’ve tried to do everything right. I was raised by a pastor, which stereotypically will result in one of two things. Either a rebellious, uncontrollable daughter or the goody-two-shoes who knows nothing about the real world. Although I don’t feel like I identify with either of those, if I was going to be lumped into one category, it would be the latter.

I am grossly imperfect. I mess up in more ways than I can even convey, but one thing that has been a theme in my life is my deep desire to glorify and serve God. There are many who believe Christians try to be “good people” in order for God to be pleased with them and bless them. Hear me out on what I’m about to say, because at first glance it’s going to sound arrogant, but…

If anyone were going to be blessed for doing the right thing and trying to be a good person, it would be me.

And yet here I am, with a very big dose of “that’s not fair” in my lap. Early this year I found out about a medical issue that I am up against. One many doctors don’t know much about, one where treatment could easily take years, and one where no cure or end is in sight. I won’t get into the specifics now, because that isn’t the point of this article. But the point is that if we were promised reward in this world for our faithfulness… where’s mine?

This whole idea that we are to give God what He wants so we have a good life in return is a big fat “LOL”. Dear readers, the opposite is so often the truth. Scripture is very direct about how following God will bring about great suffering.

Christianity is not about being part of the affluent white majority and having the picket fence. True Christianity is a body of human beings who, despite the immense suffering faced on this planet, do not walk through it alone. We are individuals who trust that the pain promised in life is not the end, and there is a God who is coming.

No, it isn’t fair. It isn’t fair that the girl who spent her life trying to do what is right looks like she’s being punished. But I’m not being punished. Some may tell me, “you don’t deserve it”. You know what else I don’t deserve, but have? God. I sure as heck don’t deserve God. I don’t deserve the intimacy and presence of God that I experience daily. I don’t deserve His love and forgiveness. I don’t deserve the amazing life promised to me after this one ends. I did nothing for those things other than choose to accept them. That’s why I follow God. That’s why many of us believers are faithful through the pain. We don’t follow God so we get “the good life”. We follow God so we get the incomparable joy that it is to know Him. 

To the well-meaning friends who hear stories of pain and suffering and reply with,

“Sending you good thoughts!”
“I’m praying for you!”
“God is the great healer!”
“Let go and let God!”
“You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you!”

STOP.

All of those things can be beautiful when used in the right context. Some of those are even Bible verses, and for that reason, they are so powerful when used correctly. But let’s be honest. Those statements are usually used in the trite, awkward answer given to someone we don’t know what to say to. But words without actions are meaningless.

“Dear friends, do you think you’ll get anywhere in this if you learn all the right words but never do anything? Does merely talking about faith indicate that a person really has it? For instance, you come upon an old friend dressed in rags and half-starved and say, ‘Good morning, friend! Be clothed in Christ! Be filled with the Holy Spirit!’ and walk off without providing so much as a coat or a cup of soup–where does that get you? Isn’t it obvious that God-talk without God-acts is outrageous nonsense?” -James 2:14-17 (MSG)

If you want to help a friend in their suffering, then do that. Help them. Sit with them, talk with them, pray over them, cry with them, check up on them, ask what you can do to take a load off of them. What will thinking good thoughts about them do? Not a darn thing.

Pain in this world is completely inevitable. But in my pain, I’m not alone, and I know it’s not the end of the story.

I know that God has the power to do anything He wants to do. I know God can heal me in an instant if that’s what He wants to do, but if that’s not what He wants to do, He isn’t any less good. He isn’t any less loving, any less miraculous, or any less God. It just means my story has a plot twist I didn’t see coming, but… isn’t that how all the best stories go?

xo,
Suz