SO THIS IS 33

Today I’m 33 years old. Today, on my 33rd birthday, I woke up and didn’t experience what I normally have on past birthdays. No, today was different. I woke up today to this overwhelming feeling of security and contentment. I’ve written about contentment before, and how important it is to strive for, and I still believe that to be true. But, today there was no striving. It was just present, in my life, right now. I usually wake up and go through a series of highs and lows. The emotional roller coaster I always manage to find myself on has been something I could rely on experiencing. As I sit here this morning feeling safe, secure, happy, content, and all these other wonderful, yet calming things, I can’t help but reflect back and ask myself “why did I go through all that every single year?” As I ponder that thought, a few things come to my mind. I think it’s a hard day for people. There’s some expectations that can lean on the side of unrealistic that we as humans place on this day. We get to the end of it, and find ourselves often disappointed. Not because there was a lack of facebook messages, or texts and phone calls from the people in our lives. Maybe even for some they were woken up with breakfast in bed, endless amounts of flowers and gifts. Some people experience grand gestures, like proposals and surprise get a ways, or are welcomed home with a big surprise birthday party. And yet, after all this, they still go to bed and recognize there is something missing. The thing about that is, that thing that is missing on our birthday…..it’s not just our birthday that it’s missing from. It’s a space within us that is empty. We just don’t always recognize it during our “routine”. We chalk it up to this idea of getting another year older, and the day passes and quickly we are back to our daily flow of life.

I would like to urge you today to think about this. Is there a space within, that you know deep down is being occupied by the wrong things? Because, that space was designed for on thing only. And it takes some time, and life experience, and faith in Jesus to understand that. Psalm 42 says “deep calls to deep”. That deep is inside of us. That’s what he’s referring to. What you occupy that deep with is going to call out to what it’s familiar with. So, if you find yourself constantly fighting the same battles in your life; whether it be food, self hatred, diets, shopping, debt ect. Or even if you find yourself attracting the same friends, and same type of man, consider what I am saying. I found Jesus almost 8 years ago, or better yet, he found me. But, it wasn’t until recently that I had this revelation of why I always felt that emptiness.

We can be saved Christian’s with our ticket to heaven and completely miss out on the beautiful life God has written for us. We do it by clinging to the world, and filling our void with things that are set out for our destruction. We get to make the choice. God isn’t going to force his way into our hearts. He is ready for access. He’s ready to come in and clean up the mess, and bless you beyond words can describe. I am a living testament to that.

I write from a humble place this morning. A place of gratitude. Today is my birthday yes, but beyond that, today is a confirmation that I may just have finally fully surrendered to the life of Christ. Because today, unlike other birthdays, I didn’t really make plans. I just woke up, and had this peace that drives me to want to spend this day with God. The only one who can fill my depths, my roots, my void/emptiness or whatever you want to call it. Sure, I’ll celebrate with my favorite person in the world later, but that’s just icing on the cake. Today really isn’t about me, it’s about Him. The one who swept me up from darkness and shined his eternal light upon my life. All the messages, treats, cards, and gifts are bonuses. So, with my broken, old roots, filled up by Jesus alone, and with an even fuller heart, I go into my 33rd year of life secure, happy, content, and so very loved. Cheers to 33!

With love and blessings,

KC