AND IF NOT, HE’S STILL GOOD (part 2)

Not Alone in the Furnace

12:47am, I can’t sleep. Tossing and turning, deep breath after deep breath, inward prayers, counting sheep…. NOTHING and I mean nothing is working. I absolutely HATE when this happens. Getting into bed around 8:30-9:00pm  & watching a little of The office with my hubby while we both doze off before the episode is over is a typical night for me. But not lately. Lately this isn’t the case, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t do what I want to do, what I so desperately need to do…. and that’s rest.

I have come to accept during this season of our life & marriage, we are standing in the furnace. Like literally right now as I write these words, we are surrounded by roaring flames that want to consume us til we are nothing but ashes *cue dramatic music. I keep telling myself it’s just that though….. a season in life, and as scripture confirms;

To everything there is a season

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

When it’s Hard to Find Comfort

As I lay in bed on these sleepless nights I find it hard to feel any sense of hope or comfort. This pain I am feeling literally sweeps across and through my body like a heavy blanket or raging storm. The lies that creep into my mind are tormenting and almost debilitating.

There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning.

Psalm 30:5

5:45am Finally the morning comes and clearly I’ve fallen asleep at some point during the night. I’ve come to noticed a pattern. Yes, my nights are filled with lies, darkness and incredible pain, but as dawn breaks and the sun rises, with it is a break in the atmosphere. With it is strength,  joy, and most of all HOPE. 

We Are Not Alone in the Fire

When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you

Isaiah 43

If you read my last blog post part 1 of this series, you read the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.  Three Hebrew men who were thrown in the furnace for not bowing down to King Nebuchadnezzar’s gold image. They went into the furnace expecting God to rescue them. The fire was turned up so hot it consumed the guards surrounding it. Yet these 3 brave men came out unscathed. They stood in the furnace surrounded by flames with intention to burn them down to nothin but ashes. They weren’t alone in the furnace, just like you and I aren’t alone in our furnace. God was there with them protecting them from the flames.

The True Test of Our Faith

Even when you cannot feel God, he is there. The true test of faith is knowing, and trusting him to be by your side on the darkest of nights when the feeling of his presence is no where to be found. Because my sweet friends, he doesn’t leave us. Please embed this truth into your heart. You are not alone in this darkness. The night may be painful beyond explanation, but you are not alone in your pain. Jesus is near you, hurting with you, fighting a battle you cannot see. You can feel the weight, the pressure, and pain. The lies you hear in your head feel so real because the thoughts are there, but the words are lies. And while all this is happening there are two truths you need to hold onto.

• The Lord is with you fighting for you.
• Joy always comes in the morning.

Let’s rewind back to the scripture I posted above from Isaiah. I want you to notice specifically in this verse in Isaiah it doesn’t say God will keep you from the deep waters, or the fire. There will 100% be times in our lives where we must walk through the deep waters, and are required to stand among the flames. Being a Christian doesn’t make us exempt from trials. What our Lord does promise us however is that he is with us. And while we may feel the pressure from the oppression surrounding us, he will not allow it to consume us. 

A Precious Moment of Reflection

As I drive home from dropping my step son off at school I have some quiet time to really examine what I went through the night before. He goes to a private high school a few cities away, so I often take my time on the way home to check in with God again and see if he’s got anything to tell me or show me. I am reminded of a time not so long ago when I laid in bed newly married, overwhelmed with finances, living crammed in a tiny apartment, grieving the loss of a business dream, adjusting to being a new step mom to a teenager, desiring a baby of my own, going through an ugly custody battle, desiring a house for us and feeling this same weight of hopelessness and pain. There were nights where I ended up on the floor of our bathroom crying hysterically, desperately trying to catch my breath in a full blown panic attack. We needed to move, our little apartment was covered in black mold, we were rapidly out growing it, and everything was breaking. My dream of seeing my family in an actual house felt so far out of reach. In my mind there was no way it was going to happen. Yet just months later we moved into a brand new house with my dream kitchen and neighborhood. Looking back it was hopeless one day, and then next God just moved for us. It was literally in the very last moment that he came through for us.

It’s been a few days since I began writing this blog, and yet again last night darkness crept in. Lies swarming around me like thousands of bees buzzing in my ears. The anxiety, the depression, the pain, it was all just too much. In that moment I held on to the only thing I knew and that is this. Even if our circumstances don’t change, even if we continue down a path where life keeps throwing us dart after dart, and even if we end up yet again in another completely unfair and unjust situation, God is still good.

And if not, He is still good.

I cling to this truth when life becomes unbearable. I cling to another truth as well.

There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning.

Please remember when you are in a hopeless moment and think that hopelessness is the reality of your existence, it’s not! Those are your emotions lying to you. Emotions always change. Literally hours later you will not feel the same. You will always be met with joy in the morning. To be continued……

💜🍋