NONE OF IT MATTERS

If there is one thing I’ve learned from taking all of March off social media, and the Corona Virus pandemic is this (please I am begging you, if you haven’t had this revelation yet, let this next sentence soak in); Nothing, and I mean NOTHING I thought mattered, actually matters. At the end of every single day, I have two things I am thankful for, and two things that bring me TRUE joy and comfort; God and my family.

WHEN LIFE CHANGES OVER NIGHT

Life changed radically over night for everyone. The rug, no actually the floor was ripped out from under all of us. Suddenly the things that brought us security and comfort where non existent. So I ask you, what was left? For me, it was two things; God and my family. I used to thank God every day for my family and it went something like this;

“God, thank you for my family, protect them, guide them, keep them healthy and safe today.”

Oh, and then my next sentence would be;

“Lord, I am so thankful for you. Thank you for your presence in my life, thank you for your grace.”

4-7 seconds spent thanking God for the two things that ACTUALLY matter and then the rest of my day was filled with thoughts and prayers of financial blessing and breakthrough for us, helping us to get out of debt and saving money so we can have a baby and go on a vacation. Thoughts that if I spend my money on this item of clothing or that beauty product it will some how fill me up. Thoughts of what place my husband and I will go for our next date night. Thoughts of once we achieve this or that we will finally be happy and feel secure. Thoughts of once this season of life is over and we are living in a different state I can finally see my husband stop carrying such a burden to provide for all of our needs and wants.

MY PRAYERS CHANGED

Within a week that was all ripped away. My thoughts and my prayers changed, and as I began to see things differently I began to see my life through a clear lenses. Nothing and I mean nothing I thought mattered, actually mattered. Likes, comments, and responses on my Instagram posts and stories were gone because I shut it down to take a mental health break. I was no longer turning to my phone for validation and connection with people. I was actually connecting with people. I was looking to God for validation. I was finding my security in Him and His word which is filled with truths and promises for us. Out of nowhere lash extensions, perfectly manicured nails and botox weren’t even an option. Those things I thought made me more beautiful and feel “put together” were no longer attainable. And once the gel polish was gone, the last spot of botox was worn off and the life of no makeup and a messy bun living in athleisure became a new temporary norm, I began to notice how much I didn’t need any of that.

I am not saying I am done with all this stuff or that I don’t care anymore about being debt free, because I do and I always will. What I am saying is those things don’t matter like they did before. Suddenly, money didn’t matter. Because its fleeting. It comes and goes like the waves breaking on the shore. The wave quickly comes up touches our toes and if you blink for too long, it’s gone. It’s an unreliable source to build trust, faith and security on. We exhale all our breath into these things that only steal from us and then we are left void of oxygen. When we have God, the creator of the universe, breathing new life into us every moment of every day.

DID IT CHANGE YOU?

Let me ask you this; what happened through this for you? For me, it changed me. Did it change you? It should have. Are you seeing life through a different lenses? Because you should be. Are you learning the lesson that putting your faith and trust in money or anything monetary is putting trust in something is incredibly unstable. It can all go away in the blink of an eye. We aren’t left with nothing in this, we are finally facing the truth. And the truth is richer than an overflowing bank account.

Slowly things will go back to normal. They already are. I figured out a way to do at home eyelash extensions, and who knew press on nails would come back and be absolutely amazing? Come May, we will all be frozen again as we scramble to get into our botox appointments. My schedule will be cram packed with everyone trying to get in for their facials they missed for months of being quarantined. All of this is okay guys. I am the first in line for all of it. However, after the last few months I have learned I am fine without it. I am aware none of it can fill me up and make me feel secure or happier than I am right now. Because I am in fact the happiest I have ever been. Without any of it. I now know what matters. And none of it (what I thought) matters.